Sunday, June 24, 2007

Some random quotes from somewhere?

Veronica: Mrs. C! I trust you're well.
Kendall: If it isn't Little Miss Teen Getaway. Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.
Veronica: Like, trouble with a capital "T", that rhymes with "C", that stands for ...
Keith: Veronica!
Veronica: What? I was going to say "cute."

LauraLou2332: i also had a dream that hannah and dan had genital warts....
LauraLou2332: and i was the only person in the world who thought that was gross
TinyDancer426: EWWWW
TinyDancer426: that's gross
LauraLou2332: and im not alone
TinyDancer426: oh no, you'll never be alone when it comes to genital warts. that came out totally wrong.

Bat Shit Crazy Customer: Here's my purple heart card. Have you ever been stabbed in the back?
Me: No, can't say that I have.
BSC Customer: So is your mom single?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Pure Logic

Andy: You and your sister look alike.
Laura: Will you please stop saying my sister's hot!?
Andy: I didn't say your sister is hot, I said you look alike.
Laura: But you're always telling me I'm beautiful, so obviously if I look like my sister you must think she's hot too.
Andy: That's not what I'm saying.
Laura: Oh, so now you're saying my sister's not pretty?
Andy: ... There's no way I can win this.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


The Favorite Quotes section of my Facebook profile needed cleaning up. Here are the quotes that got deleted:

Mom trying to wake Laura up Easter morning:
"If Jesus rose from the dead, so can you!"

"Cece said 'I'm glad I'm not Indian because I hate Indian food.' I thought 'Well then maybe you should try some Dumb Crazy Bitch food 'cause you'd probably really like it."
- Mario on Beauty and the Geek

"Did I just overhear you telling Sam that 'chien' is the French word for 'frog'?"
"But it's not. It means 'dog'."
"Er, yes."
"Je m'appelle poutine!"

"Yelling gives gay babies cancer. Do you want gay babies to get cancer?" (Jimmy to Hannah via IM)

"There's no truth in your soul!!" - Soda

"She can die on her own time, we've got bingo to play!" - Laura when Mom's asthma attack almost interupted our Christmas Bingo game.

"Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee." - Penny Bessman

Liz- "Why are you wearing a tux?"
Jack- "It's after six. What am I, a farmer?"
(30 Rock)

"GRANNY GET THE TASER!" - Spinelli, General Hospital

Abby: I wouldn't say "Rest in Peace." I would say "Rest in the belly of a whale, Steve Irwin, for that's what you deserve!"

Abby: You can't just un-friend someone, mom.
Miranda: Yeah, this isn't facebook.

(Joe invites an audience member onstage to give a toast.)
Random Frat Boy Sam: " We fuck 'em up, we fuck 'em down, we fuck their friends when they're not around."
Joe Firstman: "The Joe Firstman Band does not necessarily endorse Sam's toast. But we still drank to it."

Love you. Love everything about you. Thinking about being you for Halloween. -- Will & Grace


Monday, June 04, 2007

With Arms Outstretched

So there's this guy that I like. And I think he likes me. But he better pick up the fucking pace because seriously yo, I'm moving in two months.

Or, as Rilo Kiley said:
"If you want me, you better speak up
I won't wait
So you'd better move fast"