Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thick Beauty, Whiskey Baking, and Ice Cream Tragedy

What Abby and I were chatting about one year ago today (yeah, it's gonna be a thing now.)

me: thoroughly enjoying today's Peanuts cartoon. after charlie brown tells her "beauty is only skin deep," Lucy responds with "I deny that! My beauty is not only on the surface, it goes down deep.... layer after layer after layer. Yes, sir! I have a very thick beauty!"

Abby: hells yes. btw, I'm still reeling from that whole Jack Daniels situation.

me: i know, right? although it kind of makes me want to try adding some JD to the brownies I'm gonna make. but I'd probably eff that up, and I don't have much Jack left in my apartment. i'd rather drink it than do experimental baking.

Abby: exactly. I kind of thought the same thing, I was like "Hm I should put a splash of Jack in everything I cook.... OR! I could just drink it often and that would actually be much more satisfying."

me: yeah. although i do love the jack daniels grill stuff at tgi fridays. maybe i just need to stock up on jack daniels steak sauce.

Abby: that sounds much more practical.

me: Dude! I just freaked out bc i checked amazon.com to see how much that steak sauce is, and i thought it said $44 for a 10oz bottle. Turns out it was $44 for a pack of 6 10oz bottles. that's a bit more reasonable. i was like "how on earth is it that much more expensive thanactual Jack?" it was very similar to the freak-out i had last night when i thought i left the bag containing my Ben & Jerry's at the grocery store.

Abby: you're a little panicky. Maybe you should stop jumping to outrageous conclusions.

me: hey, i thought i left my 2 pints of Ben & Jerry's (Smores and Phish food) at Jewel, which is a 20 minute drive each way. it would have been tragic.

Abby: yes. that is the definition of tragedy.


A recurring theme I've discovered while reading old chat logs? I say I'm gonna do a lot of stuff that I never do. I never bought JD steak sauce and I never made JD brownies. And I'm a complete panicker, but we already knew that.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

One Year Ago Today

This is what Abby and I were chatting about:

me: howdy. sorry i've been away from the computer all morning. the system was updating their servers so [program in which I do all of my work] was down. There was nothing i could pretend to be doing on the computer while really chatting.

Abby: THAT SOUNDS TOTALLY TRAGIC.
I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU, I'M JUST DOING DATA ENTRY AND OUR CODES ARE IN ALL CAPS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT BECAUSE I'M NOT SMART ENOUGH TO REMEMBER TO FLIP BACK AND FORTH.

me: do you remember the SNL skit where Will Ferrell couldn't control the volume of his voice so he was always yelling? that's the voice i'm hearing in my head while reading your all-caps message.

Abby: NICE. NOW I'M HEARING IT TOO AND IT'S HILARIOUS.

me: i know, right? who knew data entry was so funny

Abby: IT'S NOT. MY FINGERS HURT.
I THINK I'M GETTING CARPAL TUNN... I DON'T THINK TUNNEL IS RIGHT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE REAL WORD IS.

me: no, you're right. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpal_tunnel

Abby: REALLY? LIKE A TUNNEL UNDERGROUND? THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY MEDICAL.

me: "in the human body, the carpal tunnel or carpal canal is the fibro-osseous passageway on the palmar side of the wrist that connects the distal forearm to the middle compartment of the deep plane of the palm."

Abby: CRAP. MY SPELLING IS GOOD, BUT NOT MY DEFINITION. MY KNUCKLES ARE REALLY STIFF, I GUESS THAT ISN'T REALLY C.T.S.

me: arthritis?

Abby: SURE. THAT SOUNDS FUN.

me: that's really the only other thing i know of that affects hands. i was going to start making stuff up like "lockknuckle" (a relative of lockjaw) but i decided my brain is too tired to make up fake medical syndromes

Abby: IT DOES SOUND LIKE A FUN GAME THOUGH. LETS PLAY IT LATER THIS WEEK WHEN IT ISN'T MONDAY AND MY KNUCKLES AREN'T ANGRY

me: ok
I'm kind of sad that we never actually played that game.