Sunday, June 22, 2008

America's Next Top Groupie

I shit you not, this is the dream I had last night. Obviously I've been watching too much America's Next Top Model and Legally Blonde: The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods. Have you been watching the Legally Blonde show? It's classy.

Anyway, back to my dream.

I'm on my way to a concert with Abby M (or is it Abby F now? She just got married and I'm not sure if she changed her last name) (also the concert we're going to in my dream is a concert we're going to in real life in a few weeks) and we realize that neither of us has bought tickets to the show. It's probably fine though, because I've seen this particular musician in concert several times and never was it a sold out show. But when we get to the venue, there aren't any tickets. Abby is very upset that we have to miss the show, so then I decide to throw some weight around. I tell the ticket taker dude to go tell Musician that Miranda is there, and that he should remember me. Apparently this works and we get the ok to go in.

And this is when things start to get weird.

Inside, it's not a concert. It's a competition. Scantily-clad girls are everywhere. Apparently they're all vying to be the girl to spend the night with Musician. We have to do rediculous things like photo shoots and musical numbers. It's all very America's Next Top Rock of Love: The Search for Elle Woods.

But, the thing is, Abby and I know I'm going to win. I'm a ringer in the competition. We kind of have an attitude the whole time like "Oh, look how cute, these girls think they have a chance. Ok, I'll play along." Abby doesn't actually participate in the shenanigans. She's a married lady now, so she's just there to support my whoring. She's my pimp.

So, after several rounds of challenges I am, of course, named the winner. And then I think we went to the hotel. And then I woke up. Is it weird that when I woke up my first thought was "Dude, he didn't even play a show!" That was apparently my biggest concern, not "Did I just dress up like a 1950s pin-up and sing 'Omigod, You Guys!' in front of a huge crowd of women in an active pursuit of a one night stand with a musician?"

My subconsious is weird.


Abby-Wan Kenobi said...

I wish I lived in your subconscience. Also, I totally watch all those shows. And you should sell this blog entry to a tv producer.

abcakes said...

i quite approve of this dream.

i would be your pimp anyday. at least, as long as i knew that your "john" was the Musician.

and i'm still abby m. i couldn't deal with being abby f. i would be to vulgar, i think, and try to replace my last name with other words that start with f.

if only we could all be so lucky.